love me and come back tomorrow

Girl had to.
I have not bought anything from H&M in.. forever.
But I had to get that Pharrell Williams tank.
And I got the shorts from ZARA.

Other than that the shopping spree was sort of disastrous.
The only thing that I knew that I wanted was a lipstick called
Russian Red from MAC Cosmetics - which was out of stock.

So it ended with buying the things that were "okay"
because I hate coming back with nothing.

Ed Westwick, known as Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl.
Do I love my bad boys or do I love my bad boys?

She took all of his words, and turned them into her own.
He told her he loved her.
(He was sleeptalking, but she was awake, so it mattered.)

She was going away.
He was not fond of this.
But all she has to do was to make him forget.
Make him forget for a second, and he is had.
She locked and loaded, filled him with sugar.
Catched his tongue in her mouth.
Climbed on him, tickled him, broke his mood.

But she is a lone wolf until the end of time.
She is a forever puzzle, and that is how it is.
Too flawless and too controlled.
Like a fake ad on a billboard.
She comes and goes, does as she please.
It was always easier for her to break things.
Break things and not get broken.

So she disappeared.
Vanished.
Turned to invisible.
Like she had done a million times before.
And that is about it.
No strings, no fat lady singing.

"Sex.

In the good old days, a flash of ankle was enough.
Then a calf, then a thigh. A miniskirt, a bikini, a g-string.
Then hairs, short and curly. Then the rest of it.
The mouth. The tongue. The tits, the ass. The pussy.
Leather, fur, duct tape, fuckshoes.
All in full color, all in 3-D.
Then faked snuff films. Sex with a horse.
Pay-per-view simulated cannibalism.
Televised battlefield rape. Corpse-fucking.
But it all got boring.

The porn and the porn and the V-jak...
Even fucking got boring."

From the Comic Book 100% By Paul Pope.

You are what I need.
And it might kill me, but at least it would be true.

Why I am not where you are and why you are not where I am.
It is two different stories, but they are still identical.

Taking the love for food to a whole new dimension, to be honest.

I realized last night that I am a strangely determined person.
And if someone wants me to change my opinion about them,
they have to show me that they can change.
I am not narrowminded, I try to see things from a different angle.
But I do have a hard time letting go of my determination.
I do not let people walk right in and out of my life when it suits them.
I am not your one-man game. So do not treat me like a chess-piece.
If you want a made-up smile you can look elsewhere.

I am what I am, there are no excuses and there are no escapes.
Anymore, at least.
I am what I am, and maybe I am hard to deal with.
And if you do not want or care to figure me out - I will not let you.

I am what I am - even if I do not fully understand myself.
I see no reason in understanding myself at this point (even
though I love trying to figure myself out, and I like to think that
I do know myself pretty well).

You can call me childish, you can call me immature.
But your actions are never real, and your advice are like dust to me.
I will not smear on a pokerface because it might be the right thing to do.
I am obligated to my feelings.
I will be sad, I will be fucking pissed off, I will be indifferent.
It is my right. A right I will joyfully claim.

Maybe I am too passionate.
I find myself being the most passionate when I am completely alone.
Even such a thing as looking out the window can feel like an experience.
I am passionate about love, as much as I am passionate about hate.
I love life so much I desperately hate it as well.
Another day is another wish, and I would not watch it slipping by.

There is always music on my radio - metaphorically speaking.
Sometimes my favorite song comes on, and everything feels like
rainbows and sunshines, and I just want to dance until it ends.
Sometimes I am sick and tired of it, that feeling that you have
heard that same old song - about a gazillion times before,
and you wonder - will it ever, ever go away?
Sometimes I just need a pause, to stop and think for a while,
a little break from voices and noises.


My eye.
By: Eleanor Löfgren.

1. Who is the last person you high-fived?
Probably Johanna.
 
2. If you were drafted into a war, would you survive.
Yeah... No. Or maybe?
I am great at hiding, and that is probably what I would do.
 
3. Do you sleep with the TV on?
No, I am a little more environmental.
 
4. Have you ever drunk milk straight out of the carton?
Everything tastes better straight out of the carton. (So, yes).
 
5. Have you ever won a spelling bee?
No. I probably could though.
 
6. Have you ever been stung by a bee?
Yeah, once. But I was tiny back then.
 
7. How fast can you type?
Really fast, and without looking. I am a complete and total nerd.
 
8. Are you afraid of the dark?
I am actually, sort of. I can not say that I am terrified, but I do not
think that it is comfortable being alone at night. Big houses at dark, euh.

9. Eye color?
Brown. Sometimes honey sometimes raven-black.
 
10. Have you ever made out at a drive-in?
I am not white trash.
 
11. When is the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
I rarely do. And whenever I take a bath I always shower afterwards.
 
12. Do you knock on wood?
..
 
13. Do you floss daily?
I should but I can not say that I actually do.
 
15. Can you hula hoop?
Used to be able to. But I know I could learn again if I practiced.

16. Are you good at keeping secrets?
Great at secret-keeping. And it is a lost art, for sure.
 
17. What do you want for Christmas?
Summer.
 
18. Do you know the Muffin Man?
No.
 
19. Do you talk in your sleep?
I have no idea, I hope I do not.

20. Who wrote the book of love?
The book of love? Heck if I know.

21. Have you ever flown a kite?
I have not. I missed out on kiteflying in my childhood I guess.

22. Do you wish on your fallen lashes?
No. Do people do that?
 
23. Do you consider yourself successful?
No. I am never satisfied.
 
24. How many people are on your contact list of your cell?
Too many to count, that is for sure.
 
25. Have you ever asked for a pony?
Haha, yes. I think I have asked for every barn animal there is.
I bet my first sentence was "Can I keep it?".
 
26. Plans for tomorrow?
Study. Today too.
 
27. Can you juggle?
Depends on what and how many.
 
28. Missing someone now?
I am always missing someone and something. So; yes.
  
29. When was the last time you told someone I Love You?
Do not remember.
 
30. And truly meant it?
There is not many people I can say that I truly love.
Whatever, that is a nut I will crack some other day.
 
31. How often do you drink?
Used to drink every weekend.
Now not as often - I have too much in school.
 
32. How are you feeling today?
Like I just woke up, which is ridiculous - because the time is 9pm.
 
33. What do you say too much?
Oh I have no idea.
 

34. Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?
No. But I have been very close once, maybe twice.
 
35. What are you looking forward to?
Turning 18 and finishing school.
 
36. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Yes - both from the outside to get in, and vice versa.
 
37. Have you ever eaten dog food?
No. I know what is in there.

38. Can you handle the truth?
Yes, but that does not mean that it does not hurt.
 
39. Do you like green eggs and ham?
What the? Green eggs? Really now.
 
40. Any cool scars?
I do not know if it is cool. It is mostly just disgusting.
But I have a scar on my knee. Liquid-filled.
And nobody knows what is inside. Hmm.

By Alexander Crispin.

http://www.gordonramsayswearsatyou.com/

"Love is a battlefield."
I disagree.

I say love is a minefield.
A minefield where I can walk around relentlessly and recklessly.
Relentlessly and recklessly, not knowing what will happen until it does.
Until I step on that invisible deathtrap.
That deathtrap that will blow my breath out and stun my vision.
Stun my vision, turn me inside out, and clog all that is myself.
Myself, or I, turns into a Why? and I am hurt - but I am blessed.
But even if I am blessed, I do not dare to walk another step.
Walk another step, until I can face all of my fears again.
Until I can take the half-curious steps to my next half-death.

Love is not a battlefield.
But if it was - I would be the last man standing.

By Anna Skladman.

By Killygrind.

Myself, By Eleanor Löfgren.

I see similarities between me and Kazooie too.
I am tiny, you can carry me around wherever you want.
I am sort of bigmouthed, I talk a lot and I am a bitch, like her.
We both have haircuts normal people would call outrageous.
And, we both have huge eyes - with too much makeup on.

By Eleanor Löfgren.




We both don't know if we want our hair to be short or long.
We both like tattoos and we're both italian.
Okay fine.. we are alike.

I am so incredibly tired with some humanbeings lack of compassion.
It frightens and disgusts me. It makes me nascious, it twists my guts.
How can a person be so empty it can club a living creature to death without feeling horrible?
Pictures from the canadian seal hunt, clubbing to death for fur, as we know it.

What is the deal with humans powerplaying over every other species on the planet?
When will this end? Will it ever end?
It is all bundles of white lies and repulsive behaviours.
How does people like this live with themselves?

Great dinner conversations with the wife's family.
"What do you do for a living, Mark?" (I do not know why his name is Mark, seal-clubbing name)
"I club baby seals to death."
"What a nice job, Mark. I hope you die in a fire."

Celebrating 60 years of soles and stripes.
Congratulations, adidas.

Hellz Bellz model.

Myself.

Summer 2008 Lookbook Cover.
One of the most fabulous lookbooks I know of.
I will post some pictures from it later.

Today my mother shared an interesting fact.
She said.
"My surprise for your birthday is done.
I have taken a week in june off work."

Then she did not say anything else.
I was left a bit puzzled, then I realized.
Vacation? But where would she take me?
We have talked about New York a lot.
I really really want to go there.
Swag the streets and shop really high heels.
See the huge buildings and Central Park.

If I know my mother right though it is probably a trip to Italy.
Haha. Italy is anywhere and everywhere for her.
And I never want to go there.

About vacations.
I have never gone somewhere by aeroplane.
And if I go to the US it will be one hell of an aeroplane-ride.
I am a little bit scared about that. Hm.


Picture from last summer.
Just for the fuck of it.

'Tiberius' by Chadwick Tyler.

I do not remember where I found it.

'Domestic Bliss', Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt by Steven Klein(?).

They are feeding you lies.

Bert and Ernie keeping it real.

and eyes that burn like cigarettes.

By Myself.

You know you are lazy when not even Physalis, Kiwi and exotic snacks can make you study.
When I was supposed to be studying I was watching Gossip Girl. Ah, life.

http://www.camillawaller.se/?p=558

You have me walking around with you in my head.
You are music ringing in my ears, you are stealing my pulse.

You are on the other side of the world,
but you are sleeping in my arms.



We are lions.
We are knives.
We are fighters.
But love is what you die for.

but it's a shoe which carries a woman.
- Christian Louboutin

By Bob Richardson.


By Terry Richardson.

Vad jag skulle ha på mig till en blå Balenciaga Motorcycle bag?
Frågan är simpel, svaret .. lite mer klurigt.
Eftersom jag alltid har ansett Balenciaga som mer edgy och egensinnat
ser jag inte varför man inte skulle kunna matcha en Balenciaga-väska med
något lite roligare än "trasiga byxor och ett vitt linne".

Skyhöga skor är ett måste, i ren Balenciaga-anda. (Skor från Bronx.)
Jag valde en MTWTFSS-tröja från Weekday som jag slog knut på i sidan.
En spetsbehå som smyger sig fram vid tröjkanten är ju alltid snyggt.
Enkla, svarta shorts med hög midja från Lindex (leggingsen med).
Hatt från en vintage-affär, kommer inte ihåg vilken.
För att piffa upp det - lite smycken och ett simpelt rött läppstift.

Med smycken tycker jag att det är snyggare att slänga på sig det man hittar
än att systematiskt leta ut vad man vill ha på sig, det blir bara fel ofta.
Och ju mer simpelt man kör på annars ju mer kan man balla ut med smycken.

Det, mina vänner, är vad jag skulle ha på mig till en Balenciaga-väska.
Jag tycker verkligen att det är någonting speciellt med Balenciaga,
och det är ingenting jag skulle använda dagligen. För man vill inte
trappa ner på väskans snygghet på något vis.

http://alltomthehills.blogg.se/2009/may/tavling-balenciaga-motorcycle-bag.html
tävla om den, på länken ovan.

Om jag vinner den här väskan ska jag gå runt med en liten liten lapp i den
som det står "just dump him, heidi" på.

På tal om The Hills, varför syns inte Frankie så mycket i The Hills längre?
Om det är någon som är skön så är det den här mannen.

Jag älskar The Hills så mycket, varje tisdag blir jag som galen,
och kollar direkt på morgonen på mtv.com, när det kommer ut.
Ja, det är otroligt löjligt, men så är det.



Obviously urusel photoshoppad bild.


Här är då några av de saker som skulle finnas i min väska.
Vitamin vatten - min nya obsession, jag kan helt enkelt inte få nog och plånboken börjar ta skada.
Moschino's I love love - en parfymerad lotion som jag använder, troligen för ofta.
Stylingvax och hårspray - ett solklart måste.
Boken Eat Pray Love av Elisabeth Gilbert - har man fritid så tar jag till boken direkt.
Sminkväska (ja, det är faktiskt den glittriga saken i högra hörnet) - väldigt bra att ha.
Hade bilden varit något ljusare hade ni också sett ett antal läppstift trilla ut ur den.
Plånboken (imitten på bilden) och nycklarna - ja, självklara val faktiskt.


Som slutord måste jag tacka min underbara kompis som fotograferade.
Tack Eleanor Löfgren! Se hennes hemsida också www.elliiis.com.

I am reading this book right now, so far it is really good.
One part I really like, I am going to write here.
It is about how addicted you can become to your lover.

"It all begins when the object of your adoration bestows upon you
a heady hallucinogenic dose of something you never even dared to
admit that you wanted - an emotional speedball, perhaps, of
thunderous love and roiling excitement. Soon you start craving that
intense attention, with the hungry obsession of a junkie. When the
drug is withheld, you promtly turn sick, crazy and depleted (not to
mention resentful of the dealer who encouraged this addiction in
the first place but who now refuses to pony up the good stuff
anymore - despite the fact that you know he has it hidden
somewhere, goddamn it, because he used to give it to you for free.)
Next stage finds you skinny and shaking in a corner, certain only
that you would sell your soul or rob your neighbors just to have
that thing even one more time."

Too true.

The only girl who brings you sugar when you are sad.
Who helps you with your math, even though you are hopeless (and helpless).
The only one that you bake cookies with, which you later forget to eat.
A girl who loves doing everything but is just too god damn lazy.
(That is why she always, and yes, I mean always, misses the bus.)

You are one of my dearest friends. And that, I love.

Only three words.

I can not wait.

Legendary.