But only if.

And only if he could read my face like a message, it would say:
I love you. But you are a mess. What do you want from me?
I will not crumble, but I can turn my back away. 
Is that really what you want?
You should stay where you are true.
I will be.
Do not come back.
If you are not, do not come back.
It is not that I do not like you.
It is that, that I want to turn you blue.
Make you lost like me, so we can get lost together.
And never be found.
I somehow know I will love it that way.
Direction, what is the use?
But it ends before it has even begun.
Like it always does.
I am sorry - like you will be.
When I change the locks to my life with you in it.
And throw away the keys you had in the palm of your hand.

Some day I will wish for something good.
Something good and nothing bad.
I have always shared with the most dishonest.
Because I have never listened.
And when it backfires, I only have myself to blame.
"Just do not trust him"
"He will break your heart"
And he does.
As ever before.
But the show must go on, you see.
There will be followers.
As ever before.

I just wish for them to see me for the wonder I am.
My friend told me.
"What is wrong with us? What did we do?
Did we kill a family of five in our former lives?"
Maybe we did.

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